I’m a 3-time uncle, however, I live far from my family – literally on the other side of the globe. So basically I only see my nieces grow up through my iPad when chatting to them every Sunday evening. Every year I make my way back to at least have those couple of weeks to squeeze their little faces. As young as they might be and the wiser I think I am getting I learn important lessons every time I’m around them.
Why-Everything
My ‘oldest’ niece, now 4-years old, is in her “Why”-Phase. Absolutely everyone and everything is being questioned. Sometimes she just asks for the sake of asking, but it also gives you an insight into how she observes the world around her and what goes on in her little head.
The thing is my niece is very clever for her age (nah, I’m not biased at all). You can’t really just make things up or use the easy way out by turning the question back on herself somehow.
Kids Movies Just Aren’t What They Used To Be
The other day I was collecting points towards my uncle of the year award and took my niece to the movies. The latest edition of “Bibi and Tina”, a classic German kids comic that has now continued into a series of movies with real life actors. I remember the stories of the little red-haired witch from my days at that age so expected to simply reminisce in some childhood memories for an hour or two. Though, this particular movie was surprisingly progressive and political. Rather than just showing happy kids going horseback riding, it had an elaborate storyline relating to immigration, cultural differences, homosexuality, integration and equal rights for women.
Now imagine this little creature beside me. Those big blue eyes full of curiosity and the question marks written all over her tiny face. I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this easily.
Life Lesson From A 4-Year Old
So here is what I learned from my niece while trying to explain to her the world in a way that is honest, but also doesn’t shatter her innocent childhood.
Ask questions. I don’t think anyone should ever be stopped from asking questions, no matter how annoying you might find them. You might find some of them irrelevant or stupid even, but they’re obviously not for the mind that’s asking them. Obviously, the key is to ask the right questions. Whatever it is you think those might be ..
Be honest, even if the answer you’re giving isn’t what someone else wants to hear. Making things up will fall back on you some day in one way or the other. The truth can be a bitch, but put in the right words, you’ll see, it can move mountains (or make someone cranky, at least for a little while).
Keep it simple. Speak your mind and say things the way they are. Yes, there is a time & place for every argument, it’s important to hit the right tone and to be considerate, be sure to actually make your point and don’t digress into fairytales that lead away from the initial question.
Encourage someone to form their own opinions about the world and to become their own self. This is especially tough if we fail to reflect on ourselves and imagine to be in someone else’s shoes. The circumstances we grow up in and the people we surround ourselves with shape who we are and what we believe in. Whether you’re less or more fortunate, don’t ever feel entitled and learn to become a proud version of YOU.
Dirk
Life's tough, but it gets easier when we experience life elsewhere. When we celebrate diversity rather than fearing it and understand that all this only works when we look after each other. I hope this site inspires people to make better choices elsewhere as well as in every day life.